Farmers, the backbone of a nation, lead lives not for the faint of heart. Resilient and steadfast, they continue to show up day after day through the good, the bad, and the ugly.

One such man is Tony Pickles, 58, a sheep farmer from Modewarre, a small town of 277 people in the outskirts of Geelong. At the ripe age of 26, Tony developed a passion for farming after doing a traineeship on a dairy farm for a few years. Originally from a small town in Victoria’s Western District, he and his now-wife decided to move to the countryside 25 years ago. Together, they have three children now in university.

Tony and his wife work on their 75-acre farm outside of their jobs; his main income coming from his work as an electrician. For Tony and his wife, farming is a lifestyle, where they focus on growing lambs for meat, which commences in the latter half of the year until they sell at the Livestock Market in December to be bought by supermarkets and butchers alike.

Tony’s wife is passionate about biodiversity, using regenerative farming practices (focusing on soil health, rotational grazing, and minimising chemical use) to deliver quality lamb to Australians.

Currently farmers across Australia are going through a green drought, a climatic occurrence when paddocks look lush after rain, but the soil remains too dry, lacking enough nutritional value to sustain pasture growth or refill dams. As a result, this limits how much hay and grain Tony can grow for his sheep.

“Normally we’d grow enough pasture, but we’ve used all of that and more. If this year is the same as last year, we’re really in dire straits,” Tony says.

Combined with the rising cost of limited hay from outside sources, Tony’s financial situation is strained, as he cannot keep and sell as many sheep as he once could. And his experience is not unique. Due to the climatic effects in recent years, data from the Australian Bureau of Agricultural and Resource Economics and Sciences shows the average farm profits in Victoria fell by 37 percent in the 2000-2019 period compared to 1950-1999.

This “inconsistent” rainfall as Tony puts it, ultimately harms pasture and livestock growth. While the uncertainty has become part of farmers’ lives, it takes a toll on their wellbeing. As Tony explains: “You know, it’s a tough thing for people to go through mentally. And the mental health of farmers is not the best”.

In fact, the National Farmers Federation found that 45 percent of farmers have experienced depression, 64 percent have suffered anxiety, and almost a third have attempted self-harm or suicide. Further, one farmer is estimated to commit suicide every 10 days. Although Tony lives thirty minutes from the city and doesn’t feel isolated, he understands the pressures faced by farmers dependent on farming as their main income.

While farmers receive subsidies from the government, it isn’t always enough to support themselves and their families when combined with their yearly farm earnings. Those eligible for subsidies must have their main income come from farming. Tony feels conflicted, as he falls outside that bracket.

“I think it’s fair that the people that actually do need it get it,” he says. “But then again, we provide people food…”

Tony, a member of support group, Best Wool Best Lamb, says “just to be able to mix with people and find out that you’re not the only one with the problem is helpful.”

Tony joined the group after hearing about it through a friend. He now attends online seminars and has learned a range of farming practicesfrom biodiversity to pasture management to dealing with the stresses of farm life. Tony and his wife have found a sense of purpose through this group, striving to “improve the world in this small patch by not using chemicals”.

Tony wants everyone to understand where food comes from; it “just doesn’t end up on the shelf.”

“For people, there’s a lot of blood, sweat and tears that go into putting some lamb on your plate, or even a vegetable of some sort,” he says.

If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health issues, contact one of the numbers below:

Lifeline Australia – 13 11 14

Beyond Blue – 1300 22 4636

Rural Aid – 1300 175 594

MensLine Australia – 1300 78 99 78

This story is part of a project exploring regional Victoria and the issues farmers are facing. See the whole collection here.